I clearly was choosing all the wrong people : entirely too dependent; too emotionally unaware; too unconfident about themselves to be confident about who I was. Some combination of those. The level of face-palming and eye-rolling at my own blubbering through romance had reached its peak. You get bored eventually and start to wonder when can you get off. So here I was, the only one still single among both high school and college friends, and finally stepping off another irritating, disappointing, predictable heartbreaker merry-go-round. I was tossing my hands up in the air to my friends, a couple who had been together since high school. They wanted to set me up with nice guys. Guys they knew and could attest were decent people and motivated, balanced, and from good families. They never seemed dependent, emotionally stupid, unconfident, controlling, manipulative , possessive, or crazy in the beginning.
9 Reasons You Should Really Consider Dating The “Nice Guy”
But hold up! While some people surely can change, you know just as well as I do that a lot of people do not. So why are you wasting your energy? Everyone wants to find someone who loves them wholly, for the person they are.
A Dating Coach Reveals Why Being A Nice Guy Can Make You A Loser. “He’s a nice guy, but ”.
Nice is pleasant. Nice is decent. But do you want to date ‘the nice guy’? Stephanie Nuzzo spoke to sexologist Kassandra Mourikis and men’s dating coach Chris Manak about the ‘Nice Guy’ phenomenon why you might want to swipe left. As the saying tells us: nice guys tend to finish last. This is an age-old concept that many singletons have cursed between sobs when the object of their desire chooses someone else. And still, they chose that nasty POS over me. When I was younger, I resisted the idea that no-one wanted the nice guy.
I thought niceness should live at the top of your list of ideal qualities when looking for a partner. I mean, nice is pleasant. Like what you see? Sign up to our bodyandsoul.
How I Learned to Love Dating Nice Guys
I just finished dating a nice guy. I found one! Surprisingly, it was a disaster.
“Nice” guys are typically anything but. He also loved the idea of dating someone who was going to be a counselor because he thought it was.
A nice guy is an informal term for an often young adult male who portrays himself with characteristics such as being agreeable , gentle , compassionate , sensitive and vulnerable. When used negatively, a nice guy implies a male who is unassertive or otherwise non-masculine. It is also often used particularly in the context of dating  to describe someone who pretends to possess “nice guy” characteristics and uses acts of friendship and basic social etiquette with the unstated aim of progressing to a romantic or sexual relationship.
The results of the research on romantic perception of “nice guys” are mixed and often inconsistent. Studies that explicitly use the term “nice guy” sometimes cite research that does not directly use the term, but which addresses behaviours which are often associated with disingenuous “niceness”. One difficulty in studying the “nice guy” phenomenon is due to the ambiguity of the “nice guy” construct.
Participants in studies interpret “nice guy” to mean different things. In their qualitative analysis, Herold and Milhausen  found that women associate different qualities with the “nice guy” label: “Some women offered flattering interpretations of the ‘nice guy’, characterizing him as committed, caring, and respectful of women. Some women, however, emphasized more negative aspects, considering the ‘nice guy’ to be boring, lacking confidence, and unattractive.
Nice guys are sometimes suggested to be overbearing or lacking in vision and ambitions; these opinions suggest self-confidence as a key point and area of improvement. Researchers have therefore operationalized the “nice guy” and “jerk” constructs in different ways, some of which are outlined below. Various studies explicitly try to elucidate the success, or lack thereof, of “nice guys” with women.
Jensen-Campbell et al. They found that female attraction was a result of an interaction of both dominance and prosocial tendency.
5 Reasons Nice Guys Date Awful Women
By Ann Palik. Has it ever happened to you? If so, you are not alone. This article will give you, the nice guy, some tips on how to use charm-boy traits to your advantage, while retaining your nice-guy values.
The bad news? Studies show that most women prefer dating “bad boys.” The good news? When women are ready to settle down, they choose the nice guys.
I really want to find someone that I can spend my life with, but time after time I seem to end up with guys that treat me like dirt. It as if I am a magnet to these kinds of guys. Is there a way I can change my luck so that I can find someone who I like and who is nice? It is not by chance that you are attracting the men that you are attracting, but rather it appears that you are seeking such people and personalities. The Torah explains that a relationship between a man and a woman is like a fire.
There are fires that burn, with the flames destroying everything in their midst, and there are the fires that warm, that glow, that illuminate. Your relationships sound like they are pretty fiery. They probably start out very exciting, very intense, and yet quickly taper off. Whereas, when you had met someone that was nice, kind and warm, you found that you were bored. Perhaps the problem is that you are looking for an intense flame but not recognizing that often the intensity is not coming from the right place.
A fire burns its highest when there is a conflict, something working against it. When the wind blows, the fire grows, but only until it is extinguished. And when the flame is lower, it is that much less likely to be blown out by some wind if wind comes its way.
The Top 5 Dating Mistakes Nice Guys Make
Every woman knows a ‘nice guy’. Then the ‘nice guy’ isn’t nice anymore, because actually, he was never genuinely nice. At one end of the spectrum is the guy who will call us a derogatory name or pretend they weren’t even interested in the first place when we try and let them down.
But here is the secret: Tons of women who have tried dating sites have actually met nice guys! But with a discerning eye and a sense of facebook, they have.
Nice Guys are an internet standard. To hear them tell it, they are very mistreated! They show up on blogs to complain about how women don’t appreciate Nice Guys like themselves, because even though the Nice Guy is so very nice , women are too self-involved to see the Real Him. The Nice Guy believes he is held back by his intense Niceness. And women date those actual nice guys!
Nice Guys, of course, exist in real-world dating.
Men ditch ‘nice guy’ style, get more dates
That is until I met my current boyfriend. I was addicted to the games. I thought passion came in the form of fighting and tears.
accepting of men who had many sexual partners were more likely to choose the nice guy as a dating partner. The findings indicate that nice guys are likely to.
Suffice it to say that if you actually are one, there’s no need to declare it. Case in point: Redditor Between3and20eh ‘s decision to ask the online community: “Women who gave “nice guys” a chance how did it work out? Was a nice shy guy at first but upon getting into a serious relationship that was just for the public. Behind closed doors was a very insecure person. He had decent looks but was short and skinny with glasses.
I didn’t mind and never used that against him but it affected his confidence and he took it out on everyone else. Even after trying to work on it for months and always reassuring him he ended up cheating on me several times and then hid behind the nice guy victim thing. Went and told everyone that I was out of his league and just using him as a place to live and I had been the one cheating which wasn’t true.
I moved out and got my own place immediately to proceed I could and cut all ties. Went on and on about what a great, compassionate guy he was.
Why Women Should Date Nice Guys
I’m a woman who’s all about going out with nice guys. Shocking, I know — but it shouldn’t be. I’m not an anomaly of the XX chromosome, I’m not boring, overly domestic, and certainly not a prude.
Dating is extra hard when you’re attracted to douche bags. Clo Bare is figuring out why her attraction to d-bags beats out her desire to date the nice guys. But is.
And yet, he has always been called “the nice guy” and has been rejected more times than he can count because of that. The thing is, as women, we are constantly told to go for the nice guy. I mean, they are who we usually end up with, right? And eventually, we realize a variety of things about the nice guys we passed over throughout our years of dating. Regardless, it’s time we drop the ridiculous motto “nice guys finish last,” and instead, adopt the new version of “nice guys finish best.
I remember my grandmother telling me to marry a kind man, as she would remind me it makes all the difference in a relationship.